If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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