Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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