I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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