I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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