i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
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Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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