soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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