**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks