I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across