I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record