you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
