sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
