the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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