I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize