I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize