I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Randomize