its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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