so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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