:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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