The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my poor anus
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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