whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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