I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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