when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
