We're like a lot better than the average bears
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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