New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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