I just made out with a guy for $7.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
