There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you traded sex for a burrito?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize