She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize