i already hear my dad disowning me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
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Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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