yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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