I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize