Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back