soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy