Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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