Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
