i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
