It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
jump out the window naked night went bad
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