I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize