I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
