Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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