This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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