You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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