If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've blown a few things in my day
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
