You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
