2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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