How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants