he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize