she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Acid is not a monday night drug
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.