apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!