You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner