You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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