If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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