HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
