That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
