College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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