Kiss
Puke
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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