i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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