i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.