: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?